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Escape to Tooth Mountain
Golan and the Beekler family are playing arcade games at Pepe Roni's. When Richard can't provide more quarters, Golan mocks him for being unemployed, though Richard says the reason he gets checks from the Unemployment office is that he works at the Unemployment office. Meanwhile, Dylan has a loose tooth, so Richard explains to Golan about the tooth fairy (though Dylan says she's not real). Golan has a fantasy about the tooth fairy, and decides to wait up all night for her to come collect Dylan's tooth, so he can have sex with her. However, he falls asleep, and doesn't see Richard leave a dollar for Dylan's tooth. The next morning, Golan gives himself hickeys and makes up stories about what he did with the tooth fairy. Carole tells Golan to stop telling sex stories to her six-year-old daughter, and instead write them down in Carole's journal. Alexis says Golan never met the tooth fairy, but Golan insists he did. So she says he and the tooth fairy should join her and Keith for dinner at the Spaghetti Barn. Golan begins typing a letter to a personals website, when Dylan comes in to give him his beheading axe, to kill the non-believers. He tells her the date is off because the tooth fairy thought Dylan was his special needs kid, which was a turn-off, so she didn't give Golan her number. But Dylan says all Golan has to do is put another tooth under her pillow, and the tooth fairy would come back. He takes out his own teeth, but Dylan says the tooth fairy only wants kids' teeth. She says Billy Anderson lost a tooth today when she punched him while playing soccer. So Golan stakes out Billy's house that night, and when his mom comes into his bedroom, Golan breaks in and abducts her, thinking she's the tooth fairy (even though he finds her unattractive). He takes her to the Spaghetti Barn and tells her to act like they're in love, but she's just terrified and wants to escape. When Alexis and Keith arrive, Golan goes to greet them, and Billy's mom takes that opportunity to leave. So Alexis and Keith never see her, and mock Golan. Golan then punches Keith, tears off a waiter's arm, and uses it to beat Keith. Later, Golan complains to Dylan, who tells him not to give up. She offers up one of her own teeth to lure the tooth fairy back, so that they can kill her for disrespecting Golan. That night, Richard comes into Dylan's room to leave another dollar, and his arm gets caught in a bear trap Golan and Dylan had set in her bed. When she sees her father, Dylan begins to wonder if the tooth fairy really doesn't exist, and Golan had been lying. But to preserve Dylan's childhood innocence, Richard says he was just coming to steal the money the tooth fairy had left... because he's unemployed. Carole comes in, is horrified to see her husband's broken arm in the trap, and takes him to the hospital. Meanwhile, Dylan finds that the tooth fairy forgot to take her tooth, so Golan sets another bear trap for her. Back to list of Episodes Category:Episodes Category:Pilot Season